Parental obligations usually last until the child turns 18, the age of maturity in most places. Any form of providing beyond that duration would be out of the goodness of their heart.
Unfortunately, some kids seem to blur those lines and feel entitled to receive support. A 26-year-old woman received a massive favor from her parent, who provided her with free housing for two years. When the house went up for sale, she began acting out and resorting to harsh name-calling.
Feeling torn by their decision and burdened with the daughter’s reaction, the parent turned to the AITAH subreddit for answers and opinions. Scroll down for the story below.
Some parents continue to provide support to their adult children out of the goodness of their heart
Image credits: Binyamin Mellish / Pexels (not the actual photo)
This person decided to provide free housing for their daughter and her husband, who were struggling financially
Image credits: varyapigu / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)
The author decided to sell, which didn’t sit well with the daughter
Image credits: Unique_Molasses_9987
47% of parents in the United States still provide financial support to their adult children
The story about adult children relying on their parents for financial support isn’t new. Recent statistics by Savings.com reveal that nearly half of parents in the US continue to provide monetary compensation. These numbers don’t include grown-up children with disabilities.
According to the May report, parents spent around $1,364 monthly on their adult children. 46% gave money for vacations and “discretionary spending,” while 18% helped their kids pay off credit card debts.
A growing number of people also seem to feel they’ve sacrificed their financial security to help their adult children. In 2023, 37% of parents felt this way, which jumped to 58% this year.
In an interview with the Pew Research Center, people blamed several factors for these ongoing trends. A 56-year-old man pointed out how “expensive our society has become,” while a 44-year-old woman believes today’s younger people “are forced to work full time at less than a living wage.”
However, some parents feel they are to blame. A 60-year-old woman feels they are “too enabling” toward their kids, which creates a sense of entitlement. The author provided sparse details, but based on their account, this is likely what happened to their daughter.
There must be balance and boundaries when it comes to parental support for adult children
Loving parents will never stop supporting their kids, no matter their age. However, experts emphasize the importance of striking a balance and setting boundaries.
For financial planner and physician Dr. Carolyn McClanahan, parents must first develop a solid financial plan for their future and then set a budget for how much they would give their children.
“You need to create boundaries and figure out a balance,” Dr. McClanahan told CNBC.
For Virginia-based financial advisor Isabel Barrow, striking a fair deal with their kids could also work. While they provide some financial support, the children could promise to contribute 10% of their salary to a 401(k).
“If they have income, they have a job, they can save. That needs to be their commitment to you,” Barrow stated.
According to the account, the author did their part by allowing the daughter and her husband to get back on their feet. Also, the couple already had money for renovations, which likely meant things were beginning to look up.
However, the family could have talked it out calmly without hurling hurtful words and instead looked for a compromise. No amount of money or financial favor is worth damaging a relationship for.
What do you think, readers? Was there anyone who was more at fault in this scenario?
The author provided more information
For a few commenters, the parent was at fault for creating tension within the family
However, some sided with the author for allowing the daughter to live in the house rent-free
There were also those who blamed everyone involved
